Thoughts

I wrote this in response to an email my brothers sent out concerning the year 2008 and today's presidential election. I figured, "hey, why not add it to the blog?" So here it is.
It is true that we saw this year in as a year of new beginnings. And I totally agree with both Danny and Mike. My addition to all of this is that the year 2008 has brought a year of new beginnings, one of personal beginnings like no other for everyone that we are close to. I know that I have entered a new beginning simply by getting married and moving away, it's like every day is full of effects that come along with that new beginning. In fact, everyday is like a new beginning for me because that's how often I am faced with something new, something I have never done before, and the reality that God has called me into something I have never known and would have never guessed. And I know that each of you have gone through new beginnings that are significant this year, and perhaps new beginnings similar to what I am experiencing. And here America is at a cross roads. Perhaps it's because I'm young and have only been involved in two presidential elections, but this is an election like no other. And Danny's right....no matter what the outcome of this election American will face a new season. I will not pretend to know what this season will hold for America. But regardless, God is still God and He is the one ultimately still on the throne. He is not bound by the outcome of this election, and so whatever happens, He is still to be praised. Yes pray today, pray that God will be just what He promises to be, in charge and the one who takes care of His children.
I don't know about you guys, but I have heard people freak out at the idea of the candidate they do not support winning. The thing that feels so disheartening to me is that voters in general, have formed a critical attitude towards both candidates, not to mention the vice president candidates. I feel like in this, SOME Christian voters, perhaps miss the point. Romans 13 says that God places leaders in their positions and we are to submit to them (and that was written during the reign of Nero--who set fire to the city, totally destroyed it, blamed the Christians and tortured them for it). It just seems that at a time of decision, we need to pray for both candidates and ultimately pray that God would guide the country. The person who gets the position is there because God establishes it (Rom. 13:1) and we especially need to submit to the authority placed above us. I know that I have never really been one to jump on the idea of praying for the government, mainly due to not being informed and laziness. This election has shown me that this is a very important thing to do. Especially because whoever gets president has a very difficult task ahead of them.

Dreams and holiday fun...a week of adventures

It has been a strange week for both of us. Nighttime has been the strangest. For the last few nights I have had some very weird dreams. The fact that I remember almost all of them is very significant, since for quite a while I haven't remembered very many of my dreams. And the most notable thing is that they are all kind of quirky. Dreams are a strange thing. I have always thought that. So we'll see how this goes.
It's also been a busy week. Especially yesterday. Our church puts on an annual Harvest Festival, a safe, alternative to Halloween. And it is no small fry either. We transformed our whole parking lot into a carnival with different booths, a very kid-friendly event. It was actually a great experience. Seth and I are still getting used to the people at the church, meeting them and entering the long, slow process of getting to know them. We were some of few people who helped set it up, run it, and tear it down who had never helped with those momentous occasions before. Talk about standing out like a sore thumb.
Overall the experience was a good one. I did notice that it is very difficult for me to be involved in an event like this and have no clue what I'm doing. I found that it is a very humbling thing for me to have to ask someone what to do next. Maybe it's part of my pride, maybe it's an issue of being very driven. Maybe a part of it has to do with wanting people to know that I'm a hard worker and I can get things done when a task is given. It would be much more enjoyable for me to know exactly what needs to be done and be able to set myself to do it. But I guess that's hard to do when you've never done it before. =)
Overall it was a good experience. The church really is a good group of people. As much as I feel like I barely know them and don't yet have much of a place of my own among them, it was good to spend a day with them.

Busy, Busy Weeks

The last few weeks have been full of all kinds of stuff.
At the beginning of the month we took a group of students from our high school and college groups to LIFE for Preview Day. It was a great weekend being able to show people our school and hang out with friends. On Saturday we went to Disneyland and had a FABULOUS time, especially on the new Toy Story ride!
Then Seth and I both got sick with colds...the first time we've been sick since we got married. It was an interesting week with naps and a day or two of going home from work early. But a great part of the week is that Seth's family came and visited us, and took us to Wicked! That was definitely a great experience and it was great to see Seth's family (makes me want to go home to be honest).
The next weekend we had my brother David come down for a break! It was great. We all relaxed and watched movies, played video games, read a little bit, hung out. And we carved pumpkins! Yay for fall experiences. At least the failing fall weather doesn't mean we can't do some fall-type things. We also baked pumpkin seeds for the first time. It was AWESOME.
The next few weeks are going to be just as busy. It's full of church stuff. Hopefully we will get a chance to relax here and there.

Simple Celebrations

As strange as it may sound, I discovered a small break in the pattern of strangeness in my life. Last night, I had an urge to get out my scrapbooking stuff and start working on my memory book again, something that I have not been able to do for a VERY long time, thanks to a schedule consumed by homework for the last few years. I suddenly felt how freeing something like this is. As cheesy as it may sound, it was just great to finally do something creative, and to think in a way that I haven't for a while.
So perhaps this is the beginning of something good for me. I find myself wanting to take up some of the hobbies that have been put on hold for so long, and enjoy doing them again. I guess you could call it squelching certain gifts in order to nurture other gifts. I think it's time to bring these creative gifts back to my life. And that is very exciting to me.

Restlessness

Lately it feels that some things are coming into clearer focus for me. It seems like it is difficult to be truly prepared for something until you're right in the middle of it. And I think that's what's happening for me right now. What seems to be a theme of many of my posts, and my life in general right now, is transitions. The last few months have been full of huge change for me, and I don't think I was very prepared for how it would really be. Within three months, I have graduated from college, gotten married, moved to a new town, started a new job and ministry. In my own perspective I didn't fully grasp how completely life would be different on the opposite side of all of these major things. All of a sudden normal has become a completely different thing for me. In fact, I don't even think I really know what normal is anymore. My realization has been this is a season where I refine myself, and refine the way life is. God is really going to have to help me figure out how I should be, who I should be, how I should live my life. I have tried to do it, but because of the shock of all this change, I have slumped into a habit of laziness. The result has been this almost insatiable restlessness. When everything is so different, it's hard to push yourself to step out and build healthy patterns in your life. It's hard to feel like you have a ready supply of people to support you and be there when you need people. Sometimes I feel stuck, living life by the default, when I know full well that I need to live beyond the default. The redefining of everything, including myself seems to be a slow, long process. Yet in spite of all this, I know God's grace is enough to cover it. His grace is enough to carry me through this season. His grace is enough to redefine me and to build me into the person He wants me to be and show me how He wants me to live. And that is where I am.

License Plates and Seasons

This weekend, we changed the license plates on our car. We no longer carry the mark of Idaho whenever we travel, we are officially Californians. This has been a difficult transition for me to make, and for some reason doing something as simple as changing the license plates brought it all to a head.
The last few weeks have been somewhat emotional for me, as it seems I have regular memories of being home. Smells will bring up an obscure memory from my childhood. A few colder mornings with fog would make me wish for the cold, crisp fall mornings in Idaho. Or perhaps something we cook will make me think of a moment in the kitchen, cooking with mom.
Perhaps this has all shown me even more how difficult transitions really can be. I've spent four years away from home at this time of year and it never really seems to get any easier. And this is largely because California does not have seasons. It's so strange how much I have come to associate seasons with home and memories with important people in my life. I'm not saying I don't like California. It has its own beauty and its own qualities, but lately I am homesick for Idaho and homesick for family, friends from my childhood and teenaged years, and people who are familiar. God brings us through changes sometimes...changes we may not feel ready for, changes that seem simple but are hard to process. Although our car shows off California license plates now, I still want to be an Idahoan, not because I am showing off Idaho pride, but because of the people. I guess this is my time to learn to lean on God when change is hard, when I cry over a licence plate, when I wish the weather was cold and when I miss home.

Changing Seasons

Seth and I were able to be on the worship team for LIFE's fall retreat this weekend. It was a great weekend, but a very interesting experience as well. We both realized that we are not a part of that environment anymore and it was strange. Obviously we are in a season of transition, in a season of learning how to be where we are and to build relationships with the people around us. LIFE is very much a place of familiarity, with people we know and love, a place of comfort. It is interesting to realize that God has moved us on, He has called us to do something else with our lives. The strange realization is how much I didn't expect to miss the college stage of my life so much. It seems like more than anything, this weekend showed me that as great and amazing as the college years are, they are not meant to be perpetual. They are meant to be temporary. Nevertheless I am thankful that I experienced these years at LIFE Pacific College.
So now to move on, learn how to still be involved at LIFE and carry on those friendships, and yet learn how to live in the season and the place God has placed us in now. What a strange and interesting place to find myself in.