Simple Celebrations

As strange as it may sound, I discovered a small break in the pattern of strangeness in my life. Last night, I had an urge to get out my scrapbooking stuff and start working on my memory book again, something that I have not been able to do for a VERY long time, thanks to a schedule consumed by homework for the last few years. I suddenly felt how freeing something like this is. As cheesy as it may sound, it was just great to finally do something creative, and to think in a way that I haven't for a while.
So perhaps this is the beginning of something good for me. I find myself wanting to take up some of the hobbies that have been put on hold for so long, and enjoy doing them again. I guess you could call it squelching certain gifts in order to nurture other gifts. I think it's time to bring these creative gifts back to my life. And that is very exciting to me.

Restlessness

Lately it feels that some things are coming into clearer focus for me. It seems like it is difficult to be truly prepared for something until you're right in the middle of it. And I think that's what's happening for me right now. What seems to be a theme of many of my posts, and my life in general right now, is transitions. The last few months have been full of huge change for me, and I don't think I was very prepared for how it would really be. Within three months, I have graduated from college, gotten married, moved to a new town, started a new job and ministry. In my own perspective I didn't fully grasp how completely life would be different on the opposite side of all of these major things. All of a sudden normal has become a completely different thing for me. In fact, I don't even think I really know what normal is anymore. My realization has been this is a season where I refine myself, and refine the way life is. God is really going to have to help me figure out how I should be, who I should be, how I should live my life. I have tried to do it, but because of the shock of all this change, I have slumped into a habit of laziness. The result has been this almost insatiable restlessness. When everything is so different, it's hard to push yourself to step out and build healthy patterns in your life. It's hard to feel like you have a ready supply of people to support you and be there when you need people. Sometimes I feel stuck, living life by the default, when I know full well that I need to live beyond the default. The redefining of everything, including myself seems to be a slow, long process. Yet in spite of all this, I know God's grace is enough to cover it. His grace is enough to carry me through this season. His grace is enough to redefine me and to build me into the person He wants me to be and show me how He wants me to live. And that is where I am.

License Plates and Seasons

This weekend, we changed the license plates on our car. We no longer carry the mark of Idaho whenever we travel, we are officially Californians. This has been a difficult transition for me to make, and for some reason doing something as simple as changing the license plates brought it all to a head.
The last few weeks have been somewhat emotional for me, as it seems I have regular memories of being home. Smells will bring up an obscure memory from my childhood. A few colder mornings with fog would make me wish for the cold, crisp fall mornings in Idaho. Or perhaps something we cook will make me think of a moment in the kitchen, cooking with mom.
Perhaps this has all shown me even more how difficult transitions really can be. I've spent four years away from home at this time of year and it never really seems to get any easier. And this is largely because California does not have seasons. It's so strange how much I have come to associate seasons with home and memories with important people in my life. I'm not saying I don't like California. It has its own beauty and its own qualities, but lately I am homesick for Idaho and homesick for family, friends from my childhood and teenaged years, and people who are familiar. God brings us through changes sometimes...changes we may not feel ready for, changes that seem simple but are hard to process. Although our car shows off California license plates now, I still want to be an Idahoan, not because I am showing off Idaho pride, but because of the people. I guess this is my time to learn to lean on God when change is hard, when I cry over a licence plate, when I wish the weather was cold and when I miss home.

Changing Seasons

Seth and I were able to be on the worship team for LIFE's fall retreat this weekend. It was a great weekend, but a very interesting experience as well. We both realized that we are not a part of that environment anymore and it was strange. Obviously we are in a season of transition, in a season of learning how to be where we are and to build relationships with the people around us. LIFE is very much a place of familiarity, with people we know and love, a place of comfort. It is interesting to realize that God has moved us on, He has called us to do something else with our lives. The strange realization is how much I didn't expect to miss the college stage of my life so much. It seems like more than anything, this weekend showed me that as great and amazing as the college years are, they are not meant to be perpetual. They are meant to be temporary. Nevertheless I am thankful that I experienced these years at LIFE Pacific College.
So now to move on, learn how to still be involved at LIFE and carry on those friendships, and yet learn how to live in the season and the place God has placed us in now. What a strange and interesting place to find myself in.

Summer Camp

Last week we went to summer camp with 26 youth and 6 other group leaders. At first the experience was rather intimidating, since this was our first time as the people in charge. Ultimately, though, we are so glad that we got to experience it.
For both of us, this camp did one major thing. It seemed that it was such a wonderful bonding experience for everyone. It provided many opportunities for us to get to know the youth, and for them to get to know us. We walked away with a deeper love for them. We are also so proud of our youth group. (And this is not just because we're biased, although I guess you could say we are). Our youth show a level of such deep, solid maturity that stood out among the crowd of youth groups (all 500 individuals!) They have a wonderful balance of being able to have fun, but to bring it down and focus when it is necessary, which I think gives God a place to move in the group.
It is the greatest thing to see God be faithful to meet you where your are, where He has called you to be. He consistently builds confidence in you, in Him and His ability to work on your heart, grow your passions and enable you to do the thing He has asked you to do. We can honestly say that that is what He did in us at camp.

First Youth Pastor Adventures

This Thursday Seth and I will be going to camp with our youth group. We have both realized how interesting it is to be going as the leaders of our group. This job has really brought us into so many things we have never done before. I guess that is the story of being newly weds, and newly embarking on our life journey. There's good stuff happening in our youth group. It seems like every week it gets easier and easier to interact with them, and we are secretly pining for recruits to LIFE (Hehe). Let's just say we have seen some youth who have some huge potential for being in the ministry in one way or another. It's so great to see young people (that makes me feel old, but I guess I am technically a young people too) so excited to follow God and do what He asks.

We have also recently been able to establish connections with other youth pastors in the area. It is exciting to see that we will be building up a network of people who are in the same boat we are who can encourage us and who we can encourage. It will be a great opportunity to be there for each other in many areas. So this is an update on the youth pastor part of our lives.

Mini Middlebrook Reunion

Last night Seth and I were able to spend some time with extended family. This was quite the experience for me, being that I am a new Middlebrook, and haven't been one for very long. It was good to be able to meet new family members, and see some again that I already knew. One of the biggest ideas that hit me is that this whole group of people have grown up together, spending time with each other, or at least keeping in touch with each other for years. With literally three generations present, it's easy to see a family's heritage, of generations that have chosen to serve God in one way or another. And the strangest thing is realizing that I am now part of it. Such is the story of marriage, and the blending of two families. it is quite a thing to experience, and I think we are only beginning to see all that it means.