This weekend I felt somewhat young and inexperienced.
Winter Camp was another new experience for me and Seth. It was a good time, returning to snow, and lots of it; spending time with kids from our youth group and just a great time in worship.
I had an interesting experience that made me think about the place God has me in right now. We had a meeting of youth pastors up there to talk about how camp was going and what the future looks like for our district. As the conversation went on I realized the people in the room have been through a history together. It's a history I haven't been here to experience with them. Yet all of a sudden I have been plopped here...perhaps destined to become a part of the group of youth pastors already here. And to begin experiencing this history along with them. And then I realized Seth and I are much younger than all of them, and they have all been in the youth ministry for quite a bit longer than we have. (Insert Small Fish, Big Unknown Water Feeling)
I find myself wondering if God knew what He was doing placing us young and now barely experienced people here. We're suddenly put in this place full of people who know what they're doing and have been at this ministry thing for years. Not to mention we're in charge of our group. We aren't interns or volunteers, but we're actually the ones in charge. The ones who need to hear God's voice and direction for our group. The ones who have been given the task of figuring out how to place our youth group with the youth groups in surrounding cities. We are supposed to be the creative force of this youth group. Even now, I feel both humbled and overwhelmed. God had to know what He was doing putting us here, at this time. And to think that He is trusting us with a very special group of teenagers who need guidance and mentorship. And we've been placed here with a readily available network of others who have been trusted to lead other groups of teenagers.
For a while I may be small fish in the big unknown waters. But small, young fish always grow and then the water won't seem so big and unknown anymore.
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Yeah, sometimes I wish I at least felt experienced or courageous! Ha ha ha! Maybe we should make T-shirts that say "Follow at your own risk" :) Yet, I think it is because we came into this thing without ever expecting it that we so often turn to God for help and direction and peace. I pray that we continue to do that for the rest of our lives (even when we have "experience" in the eyes of others). If the only way to do that is to stay feeling like a small fish forever, then I guess I say "may it be!" I am just glad I have another small fish to hang out with throughout this journey to who knows where ;)
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