The Business of the Creator

Today I was looking at one of my favorite passages and something new just came to me (I love it when that happens).
Psalm 139:1-18
"O Lord, you search me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, o Lord.
You hem me in--behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, 'Surely the darkness will hid me
and the light become night around me,'
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden for you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, o God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake, I am still with you."
God really is the ultimate Creator. As if creating "the earth and everything in it" isn't enough, the care and precision He takes in creating each one of us really is amazing. The world really only sees the finished product when it looks at us, and even those who know us the best still don't know certain details about us. God is the only one who could ever know every single detail, even the most personal ones. Although that may make some of us uncomfortable, it is also so comforting. I mean, how exactly does He know all that about each one of us? Simply because He is the one who made us. He even formed us when no one else could see us, He "created my inmost being and knit me together in my mother's womb." He knows the exact details going into forming a baby (which is something, even with technology, we will never fully understand). He sees the things none of us ever see...and really who understands a creation better than the creator, the one who made it?
I think this can be compared to an artist. Here is one example. In making a collage, the maker is really the only one who knows all the work, time and detail it takes to make it. The finished product, of course is pretty fascinating, but that's the only part people see. When you make a collage, you know the work that went into it. How carefully you cut pieces out and placed them on the page at the perfect angle, and finally glued it to the page when it fit just right. You know the inner workings of the collage. Even in layering the pieces together, they're placed just right to create dimension and not to hide anything important underneath. It takes great time and care to produce a work of art. And I think this is quite similar to God's approach of creating each one of us.
He knows the things that aren't physical, the thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the desires, the secrets you wouldn't tell anyone. It's not a scary, sadistic reason why He knows all these things about us. He knows it because they are precious to Him, because He took great care in forming us. And nothing is hidden from Him. He knows all these things about us because He is the Creator and it is His business to know the details of His creation. He cares about those details because He's the one who went through the creating process to make us.
And I think it is wonderful that any time we show our creativity in any area; art, music, writing, etc. it is simply a reflection of the Creator....it's part of us being created in His image. Because He is creative, we can be creative too.

With Abandon

When I hear that phrase, it's like it stirs up a wind of emotions within me. What exactly does it mean? It seems in the Christian world today, it means forsaking all modes of comfort in order to pursue a life formed and lived only for Christ. And I agree, but perhaps the better question is what does this abandon look like?
Does it have to be someone who follows Mother Theresa as their model for sacrifice, living among the poor and rejected people of 3rd world countries? Or can it be the quiet woman who sacrifices career opportunities to faithfully raise her children? Or could it be the one who knows God has called her to serve in ministry at a church?

This has been something that I have wrestled with for years. Something within me really bucks against the idea that this phrase is reserved only for those who go "to the ends of the earth" to share the Gospel. Where does that leave the woman who has been called to be a mother and raise her children to follow God? Where does that leave the youth leader who is impacting teenage girls, who in turn will perhaps someday be another Mother Theresa? It is true that I respect and honor those who have chosen to forsake the comfort of the United States and live among those in other countries who are rejected by their society. Yet I also respect and honor the mother (like my Mom) who has raised all her children to be faithful and committed followers of Christ.
And perhaps the reason I buck against it so much is that I don't feel like I'm called to forsake this life in the United States to live in India with the lower class of society. I feel like I'm called to be here in the United States as a youth pastor, and when the time comes as a mother. And just because that is the purpose I feel tugging at my heart, I don't want to feel like it is a "lesser calling." God has created each of us to fulfill a unique and individual calling. Yet sometimes I wonder if the Christian world glamorizes some callings above others. I guess I want to see a balance in this realm, because each calling is just as important. And we never know what kind of ripple effect it will make when we are able to touch even just one person...in our everday lives. Learning how to live with abandon first in the comfort of the United States before we go out to the world. Learning how to live with abandon before we are charged with raising our children to follow Christ. And learning how to live with abandon through the process. This abandon is not the full goal, it is the process. And I have to believe there is grace for this process of learning to live with abandon, no matter what that may look like.